Thursday, March 3, 2011

Update on Monday

Sorry about not updating sooner! Internet was down from Sunday evening until yesterday mid-morning. Had so many emails to catch up on...I like to torture myself with lots of incoming mail. *sigh*

So, Monday and speaking to people. It wasn't recorded for the radio, but was a pastor luncheon. So many things spoken about, that I'm still digesting it all. I wish is was recorded, with so much information in so short a time.

When it was time for me to get up, I was nervous again. I hadn't been before. Silly me...but I spoke, with shakiness and tears. God is good...He was there for me, as He'd been when I spoke at Mickeys memorial. I'm still not sure completely where God is directing me, but I'm praying to stay open to His direction, and just be willing to be open and vulnerable in the meantime. It's hard. I can paste a good smile on, just like anyone else. But you barely scratch my surface, and a fount of emotions come forth. I'm still dealing with grief and sadness. But healing is happening. Both are a journey that can take a lifetime, and in my case, probably will. Years will be easier, but somedays may not.

I know I'm blessed so much. This fire I've lived through, and continue to walk out of, is refining me for something great, something good. God's plan.


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