Friday, July 20, 2012

Hurting, Angry, Lying To Myself

Will relief never come? Will the scars continue to mar the beauty of what might have been?
Will relationships with others always be skewed because of where you have been or what has been done to you? - Kay Arthur, Lord, Heal My Hurts

(click here to order your own copy)

I've been doing Kay's studies for a few years now, and I have to say that while I have not been faithful to complete them, God has been faithful to grow me, show me, and teach me His Word. I have started this study many times, only to stop shortly afterwards. Because it hurts too much. Because facing the anger and deep pain is overwhelming. Because I've told myself that I've dealt with the last few years and do not need the help. I lie to myself.  Have you ever done that? And then been shown time and time again, that your deceiving yourself? Crow tastes pretty disgusting, doesn't it? 
In reading a blogger friends recent posts, I've come face to face with my own lies. Face to face with the need to work through the pushed aside emotions and fears. To allow God to work in my heart once again. To continue to perfect me, (although I'm sure that will take eons to finish). It seems timely, that I pledge to stay off of Facebook and God brings this mind. So, this is my plan. To start and FINISH Kay's book, Lord, Heal My Hurts

Jeremiah 33:6
Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. (emphasis mine)

This is my prayer, my plea, my greatest desire. To have peace, to know truth. To accept them. And ultimately, to KNOW God and His character. To trust Him fully, like I did for a short while in 2010. 

Please pray for me on this journey. Only God knows what bumps and scrapes and mountains and valleys I'll have to traverse, for His glory. 

And if you need prayer as well for a deep pain, one perhaps you've hidden from others and even yourself, please comment below. You don't have to go into an explanation. 

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