Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Shaken...but not stirred.

This week has been a roller coaster ride.

For some time now, I've been really tired, after 8 hours sleep, I feel as though I've not slept in days. After talking to my doctor on the phone, things like sleep apnea and anemia were thrown around. It sent me for a tailspin

I admit, my first response was to completely freak out, get emotional and just want to say screw life! Why do I have to have bad health? Why can't this year go my way? Haven't I suffered enough? I deserve a peaceful year, God!

Yes, I threw a fit. Like the child I am...

But one thing I know only too well by now, this life isn't meant to be full of roses and bubbles. My life, is to bring glory to the Most High. My trials, bring me closer to the One true Healer.

I am not any more special than the next person, that I should be spared and live a perfect life. I am chosen to be His child, and in that choosing, I am guaranteed only one thing. If I'm faithful until death, I'll receive a crown of glory, (Rev 2:10)."Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life."

Yes I've been chastened. Like the child I am...

It's never easy to receive correction, to hear things you don't want to hearTo know that life may not be the simple and easy which you'd dreamed of. When you experience the peace of God, you long for it with your whole being. Life seems that much more difficult and harsh, once you've tasted of His peace.

All I can do now is too surrender to Gods plan for my life. Surrender to the trials and fears, to hand them over to God and rest in His peace, (Phil 4:6-7). "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

In this life I live, it's not always easy, it's not perfect. But it's a life I'm trying to live in obedience to God, and honor Him. In my ashes I hope you see His glory. In my suffering I hope and pray you see His love and grace.

In His hands, 


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