I miss it.
Every time I've gotten the inspiration to write, however, one of my wee minions has needed (screamed?) my attention. Even now, the littlest minion is stirring and the mid sized minion has gotten himself stuck in the stroller.
Now that he's been rescued.
I've been trying to work on many things lately. Maybe too many, since I feel as I'm failing completely!
Trying to eat healthy, and count calories.
Trying to read and then obey His word as a wife, mother and keeper of the home-front.
Trying to pray and uplift those that need it in prayer.
It seems simple enough...but somehow I'm not doing as well as I'd hope. I wasn't expecting perfection, I know myself better than that! ;)
But you know what happens, when you pray for something, or pray to change a part of yourself? You're faced with God given opportunities to 'grow' and 'change' but mostly...mess up.
I see my words hitting and eating away at those I love the most. I see my actions harming relationships and almost feel powerless to stop.
But then I remind myself...
I'm the daughter of the Most High. He has victory.
I've been turning to Him more and more through this, and maybe that's just what He wants right now. To turn to Him and hold on with my fingertips.
Too often I turn to someone, rather than the One who can help.
Too often I ask for advice, but not from the One who can help.
Too often I feel it's my right to vent, when I need to submit, obey and pray.
Too often...it happens.
I'm praying for these lessons to be learned fast, however I know it's a lifetime lesson. So I'm trying to pray instead for the grace for each moment as it arises, in the hope that someday...my harsh words and anger won't be there.
Do you deal with this? Praying for change, and seeing yourself mess up in that area, instead of improving? Please share!