Women Living Well:Pre-Order!

Over on Women Living Well, Courtney is gearing up for the sale of her new book, Women Living Well.

And yours truly is on her launch team! I've been able to get an advance copy, and let me tell you...it's AMAZING. Monday I'll be giving a more in depth review but right now I just HAD to share the amazing deal Courtney's giving when you pre-order her book. :D

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If you purchase ONE copy of my book before September 30th, you will receive FREE the following 10-eBook bundle! 

1. Honoring the Rhythm of Rest by Daniele Evans at DomesticSerenity.org
2. Hope for the Weary Mom by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin at HopeForTheWearyMom.com
3. Take Courage (brand new release) by Jennifer Ebenhack at JenniferBenhack.com
4. Time Management 101 by Crystal Paine at MoneySavingMom
5. Taking Joy to Heart by Sally Clarkson at ITakeJoy.com
6. Outside the Zone by Rachel Wojnarowski at RachelWojo.com
7. Single Girl  by Ashley Schnarr at StayAtHomeDaughter.com
8. Healthy Ice Pops and Frozen Treats by Kelly Smith at TheNourishingHome.com
9. The Proverbs 31 Woman – One Virtue At a Time by (me) Courtney Joseph
10. A Companion Study Guide to the book Women Living Well- this can be used for your own individual study or grab a group of friends and use it as a group discussion guide!!!

In order to receive your FREE eBook bundle simply email a copy of your receipt to womenlivingwellbook@gmail.com Put in the subject “One book purchased”.  They will send you, via email, your free eBook bundle!!!




OH, and...you better hop on over to her blog, she's got even MORE deals and prizes, gifts for y'all! :D 


 

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

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During the lunch breaks in grade school, you'd find me outside, playing in the grass alone, or reading on the swings, alone. If I was playing in the grass, 9 times out of 10, I'd be falling down. Not being the most graceful, my feet would usually find the dips, and gopher holes. With regularity. I can say with certainty that it was because I wasn't watching just were my feet landed.

How often now, as a grown up, do I still not watch were my feet lead me? I can find myself in situations in which I'm at a loss on how I got there. 

My focus was off. I wasn't looking to what I should be. I can see, with hindsight now, how many times my feet led me off the righteous path, the path He had set for me to walk. What I'm thankful for though, is that He can indeed work things not of His exact choosing, into something so beautiful and awe-inspiring.

Last month, I took a journey on my blog. I knew my writing was all over the place, my focus wasn't refined and driven. I was sorely lacking the discipline and knowledge for this blog. Still being far from perfect though, I can see that sometimes a little quest is in order. A purposefully set aside time, or project, to refine and sharpen the focus.

We all want clarity. We'd love to have Him talk to us in neon signs, because lets face it, we want to KNOW without guessing or  second guessing ourselves, if what we're going, or about to do, is what HE wants us to do.  (You want this too, right? Please tell me I'm not the only one wanting this?!)

Vision.
Focus.
Purpose.
Passion.

God has a purpose for me, just as He has one for you. He's the giver of our passions, the refiner of our focus, and the lens with which we envision our worlds. The moment we forget this...the edges get blurry, the focus shifts, the passions die. We're left wondering what our purpose was/is.

I pray that I never find out what it means to see my passions die and the blurry edges. I know that I need to keep my eyes looking to Him, from where my help comes. I challenge you as well. Don't let the whispers and distractions of the world draw your eyes off of Him. Don't let the fear, worry, stress and unknown scare you into running away from Him. 

Run TO Him. Look TO Him. Trust Him. 

Luke 5:9-11

 ⁹ For amazement had seized him and all his companions because of the catch of fish which they had taken; ¹⁰ and so also were  James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not fear, from now on you will be catching men.” ¹¹ When they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Him.(emphasis mine)

These men had their focus on Christ. He was all they could see, and hear. Their eyes were so full of His presence, that when He spoke, they immediately listened, and obeyed. How I long for that faith, to be that full of focus on Him, that I don't think of the 'what-if's' and the 'buts'. I just do it. Knowing fully that He will take care of those for me. 

Do you have any 'what-ifs' holding you back, or stealing your vision and focus? Are there still some 'buts' remaining that you need to unburden yourself from, and leave it all and follow Him without fear? 

I did it!!! {Wrap Up Post}

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I gave myself what seemed a monumental task: write one blog post everyday for the entire month of August. Guess what? I DID it! I told just one other person about this, she listening to me, encouraged me, and just spurred me on, in chatting 'blogs' with me. 

• I've always felt I lacked focus with this blog. I felt like I didn't know what God wanted me to do with my blog. So I was very inconsistent, and all over the place.
• As the month progressed, I've cleaned things up, here and there. 
• Gone through my previous posts, and cleaned them up little, took some off the blog completely, and in the process, got inspired to re-post some of them at a later date. 
• I learned that I love writing, and I miss it if I got too many days without it. Typing, or hand written, doesn't seem to matter. Just getting the words down. 
• I learned that sometimes it doesn't have to be pretty, what I share. Just honest.
• I feel the call stronger than before, to keep writing, but with intentional thought this time.
• I know I now have a direction, and basic schedule that I will stick too.
• Not everything I write, needs to be out there in the blog-a-sphere. But it still makes for good inspiration!
• EVERYTHING is inspiration for a post now. 

What I would do differently, should I attempt this again:

• Pray!
• Pray again!
• Decide if I have a theme, and enough thoughts on it, to blog daily for approximately 30 days.
• Be more organized. I was all over the place, and should I do it again, I'd want a better focus.
• Invite others to write a post for a guest spot. Something I haven't done myself, though I've been invited too! It seems like fun. :D 
• Plan for down day posts, like a simple thought, or picture. To give myself a break from having to be 'on' all the time!

Ideas on topic for next time:

• Godly Marriage
• Faith
• Children
• Housework
• Book Reviews
• Social Media and it's effects on society today 

That's about it! Other things will be revealed in time! :D

PS: I'm going to take a SHORT break this week, from blogging, and begin refreshed and back to my new blogging schedule next week, starting September 9th!  If you'd like to subscribe to my NEW monthly NEWSLETTER, Coffee With Peggy, Sign up below! 

In my newsletter you'll get a wrap up of the previous month, a little chit-chat from me on things I haven't posted here in the blog, and eventually, some surprises!!! ;-)

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Life Interrupted: Beauty From Ashes

I've shared the story many times already, but it's still one of the biggest life changing and life challenging moments to date.  And sometimes I still can't see the whole picture of it, the 'good' in it. 

In 2010, after our 5 month old son left this earth, our lives were broken beyond recognition. I was hurt, overwhelmed with a grief so heavy, I thought I'd never get out from under it. I was angry. Confused. I thought surely, this was His punishment, for the sin we'd committed in being together while he was still married.

But one thing I knew...I would still choose Christ. 

As I struggled with the pain, and loss, I began blogging through it. In a hurry to get it all down, so I could remember what he smelled like, sounded like, how he smiled. And with each memory being put down, I ached for the ones that wouldn't replace them. The first time he spoke. The first steps. The first day of school. I would miss those firsts...and it hurt!

But one thing I knew...I would still choose Christ. 

In writing those memories down, it was like I was wrapping them gently, and placing them at the foot of the cross. I was giving them to Christ...and though at times it hurt, and some memories took me longer to let go of...I still choose Christ.

Now...I can see some of the beauty from those ashes. The bonds of marriage have become stronger, move focused on Him. The children we've been blessed with since, are a joy, unexplainable. My husband has come to know Christ more, and see Him more...trust Him more.

Yes, our lives were interrupted. But what a glorious legacy, from that interruption. 

I've had some ask me, if I want Michael back. Part of me will ALWAYS want him back.  But the greater part of me is at peace that this is how it's meant to be. If this has been God's plan for us, then I wouldn't change it. For there is a purpose in all things, and He will use it for our good.

If I confess of the mouth, then the walk and heart must follow. I can't pick and choose what I believe about Him, because something may hurt, or be more than I can bare. I must choose Christ..in ALL things. 

Linked up today over at:

Trust and Faith, They Go Together Like A Horse and Carriage

Proverbs has so much good stuff it's hard to pick sometimes. But all of the Word is for instruction and wisdom for those who seek it. Gaining control of the mouth is by far, one of the hardest things, but don't forget that the words of the mouth begin in the heart and that is where God does His best work. And His work in secret shows in daily actions and words to those we love the most.

Only the daily, hourly seeking of Christ will affect the change I so desire in my heart and there fore actions and words. But I'll never be perfect this side of heaven.

Do my prayers show my trust and faith in You? 

Do I just pray for the surface, expected prayers? 

Should I be praying more, differently, deer, wider? 

Help me see that, Father. I want my thoughts, heart and prayers to reflect a heart sold out to You, a faith deeply seated on Your foundation, a trust so deep that nothing can shake it.

I'm glad I've owned sheep, and am now a mother. I have an idea of what patience, understanding and long suffering You must have. I also can see the importance of discipline and instructions. Without those, we would run a muck from an early age, to our own destruction.

I also have some idea as to the depth for Your love, and pain for Your children. Those found and those lost. How deep Your heart must ache for those lost. I am sorry that I've treated the lost so lightly, not knowing how deep Your pain for them must be. You've given the lost of the world to the found, to serve, love, pray for, become friends and/or family with. To show them the scope of Your love and desire for them. 

OH, Abba, how much You love them! It seems impossible, but You are able to do anything for anyone. So not so impossible afterall...increase in me, a servants heart, so that I may bring to those the truth of Your word, as You want me too. 

#Amazed And Committed

Job 2:9-10

⁹ Then his wife said to him, “Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse God, and die.” ¹⁰ But he said to her, “You speak as any foolish woman would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

As I sit here, praying about what to write, thinking that this should have been done a few days ago...I think about what a few people have said in the last few years.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is there suffering in this world?

Shortly after Michael passed away, I read through Job. What a book, eh? He lost everything, and suffered such torment physically. EVERYONE in his life told him to curse God, to give up his faith in God, that GOD was cursing him, etc. Yet Job remained faithful to his God...the God he knew...better than they did, it seems.

I'm glad I read Job when I did...it helped me to see things in a better perspective, I think.

Now, when I read the above verses, I try to see how it applies to me now. To see what new thing He has to show me.
It reminds me to stand fast, hold onto my integrity, and knowledge of God.
To not be like the other foolish women, who sit and worry over a topic to death. (I've never done that, btw.)
To know without a doubt that all thing, ALL THINGS, work to the benefit of God, and ourselves.

That though something may seem bad, and be bad, in that moment: That in the end, a better more perfect circumstance will arise.

One that has been hand crafted, lovingly created, and thoughtfully arranged for me, by my Heavenly Father. That thought is priceless to me. #Amazed and totally humbled by it.

I've walked through a lot in the last few years, and God knows what I'll walk through in the next. No matter what happens...I want to be committed, 100% without reservations, to my Redeemer, my Comforter. Wholly committed to His plans, not my own. Having tasted loss, and pain, grief and anger before, though it at times scares me now, I KNOW that He will carry me, provide for me, and ultimately, give me a better understanding of Him, give me His peace, and give me more faith in Him.

I can't deny that sometimes I catch myself saying, what else is in Your plans for me, Abba? What can I do, to gain more faith?

Is there something that you've been hearing God ask of you, something you may need to let go of? And you haven't? If not, I invite you to pray about it, and release it to Him tonight. And to share, if you can, with me.

Linked up at:

Casting The First Stone

I don't want to tell this story. I don't want you to think I'm a liar. Or a hypocrite. Here I am, talking about biblical marriage, and seeking to walk in a Christ centered relationship with my husband...and I'm a hypocrite. 

But I feel this tug, this gentle yanking on my heart to share this. To finally share, and place it at His feet. To chip off my shame, and let Him heal the part of our marriage that I try to hide.

You see...when my husband and I met, he was married. I wish I could sit here and tell you all the circumstances in his past relationship, to make myself look better. But I can't. I won't. 

 

I did the un-thinkable...the thing which many women hate. 

I stepped between a man and his wife. To this day I feel such shame, and anguish over this. I KNOW what I stepped into...and that makes it tougher for me. I have been holding onto the shame and guilt since...sometimes I wonder if Michaels death is His punishment for this action. Though I know that God doesn't work that way...it's hard not to think it.

I feel very strongly about marriage, even before my own, I knew what I wasn't going to do...yet I did it.

I was 'the other women' The woman scorned and shamed among other women. The one looked down on, and despised. The one left out and banished..I am her.

I feel like all my striving today in my marriage is to make up for the one I ruined. I get scared sometimes, that my husband will walk away from me. Why not, he did it with me? Those insidious whispers lie into my ears.

I've had ladies tune me out, the minute they hear about this...any advice I give is instantly not acceptable, or valid. But you see, I know what 'she' feels...the shame and sorrow that separates her from regular married women. Something about my story makes me ill equipt to speak about marriage, to their way of thinking.

But don't you SEE?! 

I did it ALL wrong...and I can see now WHY it should be done HIS way...and not lead by the lusts of flesh, and the sins of immorality. I long to share with you, why I think that one should wait until our Abba brings our right partner into our lives. I wish I could tell you why I strive and seek to be the godly wife He calls me to be. Because I did it WRONG. And now I want to it RIGHT.

I want to tell you my story...but I fear to lose your friendship. My heart yearns for truth, and the ability to speak out. To speak with knowledge of the 'dark side'. But I fear you'll shut me out. Don't you see, that I can speak from a place of knowledge, of the rocky path that leads to sinning, and lusts of the heart? I've been there, I know what those innocent flirtations, and intimate settings can lead too. Don't you know, that I long to help YOU live in a Godly, righteous marriage, so that what I did, can't be done to your relationship?!

Believe me when I say, no one judges me in this, harsher than I judge myself. I've held onto this judgment so tightly, and for so long, that I don't know where to let go first...I don't know from where it needs prying loose first.

My soul longs for peace and healing, but my mind and heart tell me I'm not worthy of it. I hear such ugly taunts in my head. 

Shameful woman.

Ugly. 

Evil. 

Not redeemable. 

Liar. 

Unforgiveable. 

I want someone to come up to me, and hold me. Telling me I'm lovable anyways. That I'm worthy, anyways. That I'm worth saving, in spite of this.

And He has. Many times. Though I haven't believed it. I LONG to believe it...but those whispers again...

Oh Abba...my heart is breaking right now. I'm so ashamed and I've held this for so long... I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to let go. Please help me...I'm so tired of this burden. This lie...This shame. Take it from me...help me to let go.

Amen 

To be continued...


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Texas: Say WHAT?!

Written for P31 Blog Hop Thursday's for the Online Bible Study of "What Happens When Women Say Yes To God?" Lysa TerKeurst. 

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If someone had told me, in April, that we'd be loading up a truck, and moving our family to Texas the following month, I'd have laughed at them. Crazy talk...my #SayWhat moment. When we told people, some of them thought we were crazy. Some family even thought so. To the outside world, I'm sure it was very crazy, us moving with two small children, with nothing planned out. So radical.

Yet, that's what we did. We had no money to move, no place to move into, and no moving truck to get us there. 

Yet, God opened the door for my husbands job. He slowly, steadily opened doors for the moving truck, for the funds to get us here. And still, no house to live in once we got here. 

Many people seemed to delight in telling us that there would be NOTHING for us, in the price range we sought after. This are is experiencing an oil and construction industry boom. So housing costs are high, and supply is low. But here is where He called us. So we kept clinging to Him, and though at times it seemed we'd never find a place, after all, how many 'No, we have nothing available" can you hear, before you easily become defeated in spirit?? Yet...we kept reminding each other, He called us here. He will provide. 

One WEEK after we moved here, God brought us home. This home is a gift, and a blessing. It means more to us, than most other places we've live in. (possible exclusion of my parents home, as it was our shelter from the world after our son passed away) This home isn't just a house, it's a place were love grows, family bonds and memories are made. It's a home that seeks to honor, obey and praise God Almighty. It's not a perfect home, tempers flare, attitudes insist...but it's a HOME. It's HIS home for us.

We still have things that need to be accomplished, like me finally getting my Texas drivers license, registering the car and transferring insurance from AZ to TX. Those are financially near to impossible for us, but we are looking to God to help us. 

This move, though radical and far from what we'd planned for this year, has brought us closer to Him, to each other and has blessed us greatly. 

Being obedient usually means taking one out of their comfort zone, and into a situation that leaves room for growth through trials. That is without a doubt, what's happened to us here. It seems every year, something happens, to shake us up, and remind us Who is God. 

What's your Say What moments? Have you obeyed Him in a way that others think is radical??

Linked up at:
 Fellowship Fridays

AND:

- See more at: http://christianmommyblogger.com/fellowship-fridays-50/#sthash.KgAix8bE.dpuf

- See more at: http://christianmommyblogger.com/fellowship-fridays-50/#sthash.KgAix8bE.dpuf

- See more at: http://christianmommyblogger.com/fellowship-fridays-50/#sthash.KgAix8bE.dpuf

Good Morning Girls Colossians Study - Week 2

We're on week two already! It's been a challenge for me, to be consistent with the time I get into His word. Right now, it's whenever I have a moment to sit on concentrate. Which at this point, relies on when my son takes his naps and when I'm not busy doing other things! Like doctors appointments, house hold thing, etc. Wait...those are excuses, aren't they?! ;) 

I'm also trying to find ways to give encouragement to my little group of ladies, whom I know are just as busy, well, MORE so than I am.

This week the focus is on God's Supremacy. The full text we're looking at this week is: Colossians 1:15-23

¹⁵ He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. ¹⁶ For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. ¹⁸ He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.¹⁹ For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, ²⁰ and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven.

²¹ And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, ²² yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach— ²³ if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister.

Wow, how beautiful those words are, to a weary and disheartened soul. To a person who thinks they have to carry the burden of life on their own. Not so! He is the chosen one to carry our burdens and to show us through His example of how to walk through this life. 

Going through these verses remind me to be very thankful for what He's done for me. To not take for granted the grace and mercy of my Savior. 

What about God's supremacy gives you comfort?

Prayer, What Do I Say?

We're almost done with our first week of the Good Morning Girls study through Colossians, and this week we've been looking at the beginning verses. Paul is telling the believers of Colossae that he's been keeping them in prayer, and OH what a prayer! 

Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,

² To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ who are at Colossae: Grace to you and peace from God our Father.

³ We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, ⁴ since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and the love which you have for all the saints;⁵ because of the hope laid up for you in heaven, of which you previously heard in the word of truth, the gospel ⁶ which has come to you, just as in all the world also it is constantly bearing fruit and increasing, even as it has been doing in you also since the day you heard of it and understood the grace of God in truth; ⁷ just as you learned it fromEpaphras, our beloved fellow bond-servant, who is a faithful servant of Christ on our behalf,⁸ and he also informed us of your love in the Spirit.

⁹ For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, ¹⁰ so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;¹¹ strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, ^for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously ¹² giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

Hope laid up in heaven. 

Bearing fruit.

Increasing in Him.

Filled with His knowledge and wisdom.

Not ceasing to pray.

Walk in a manner worth of the Lord.

Pleasing Him.

Attaining steadfastness and patience.

Joyfully giving thanks to God, because He qualified us. 

Wow. And wow. 

I've not been the most consistent prayer for those I should be covering in prayer. Heck, I don't even pray for myself or my situations with consistency. It's really struck me seeing how Paul pray's for these people, many (most) of whom he's never met, but only heard about. He is a diligent prayer, and he pray's with great wisdom for their needs. I've been convicted to follow his example. 

Sometimes I don't know WHAT to pray for, but Paul, once again, gives great ideas and examples in the letters to the churches, that we call can follow. Everyone can do with prayers to grow closer to God, to gain in His wisdom, to be joyful because of His mercy and grace of the cross. Not one person would go amiss with prayers like that. 

So those have been my marching orders! :) 

PS. I'm in a leadership group on Facebook for the Good Morning Girls study, and one of the lovely gals shared how she was using note cards to pray for her group. I've followed her example, and done the same for those in my group, as well as those who come to mind. Sometimes it's hard to keep straight who needs prayer for what, but in writing it down, it's easier for me. Also, it's a great way to share in the excitement of answered prayers! :) 

Loving Your Children After Loss: Conclusion.

This is the conclusion of a series, on why or how I am where I am, in regards to loving and seeing my children joyfully, and my desire to not have bitterness about losing Michael, and therefore having that effect my relationship with Jeremiah or Molly. I hope you learn something from this, and if you don't, at least pray for me, always, that I'm the mother God has bless me to be! Thank you!

I know that we’re just beginning our lives as the family God has created. However I have prayed, thought long and hard, and have tried to set us up for a loving, joy filled home, that has a thankful heart and appreciation for life as God hands it to us. I pray that this will remain, and that God will only take us to more joy, and togetherness than we know now.

I also know, that no matter what happens in this life, I can stand firm on the foundation of my youth, on the Rock that is my protection.

When you know that you’re taken care of, and the needs in your life are satisfied…you can truly see things with joy.

One thing I want to part this series with is:

Give thanks.

Allow joy in your heart and life.

All things work for the good.

God is all that He says He is.

Have peace.

Remember to breathe.

Please click here to view and print off,  "5 Steps In Healing After Loss". 

Loving Your Children After Loss: Part Two

 This is part two of a series, on why or how I am where I am, in regards to loving and seeing my children joyfully, and my desire to not have bitterness about losing Michael, and therefore having that effect my relationship with Jeremiah or Molly. I hope you learn something from this, and if you don't, at least pray for me, always, that I'm the mother God has bless me to be! Thank you!

I’m just beginning the journey through motherhood. Jeremiah is almost a year old, and Molly will be here soon. I know I still have a lot to learn, and they will teach me.  But one thing I have kept in the front of my mind is this, To give thanks, and consider it joy, when I’m tired, cranky and don’t know what’s wrong with Jeremiah. Though I might feel that it’s too much, I remember the feeling of emptiness, and the longing I had to be a mom again. And that simple reminder, along with God’s peace and grace, give me the strength to face one more sleepless night. One more crying episode. One more moment of feeling lost. This is Michaels gift to me.

I can let my son explore, move, fall, cry, learn, laugh and grow. Without jumping, over reacting, fearing what may come. I can let him be Jeremiah, created for a purpose by God. This is Michaels legacy to his brother.

I can remember to enjoy a 3^rd pregnancy with Molly. I can experience how it feels to have a child outside and in the womb. I enjoy how she reacts to her brothers voice. I can be blessed to have this experience, finally. This is Michaels legacy to his sister.

1 Peter 4:12-13

“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trail which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you;

But rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.”

Galatians 5:22

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such thing there is no law.”

*****

I’m not perfect, by any means. I don’t think this is easy, or the way for all parents who’ve lost a child(ren). I just think/know that this is our path, and this is how I’ve chosen to take it. This is how I choose to remember Michael, and help his siblings to know him, to be blessed by him, and not cursed. I want my children to see that his loss made us better parents, more loving not less, more giving not reticent. I want them to know, that instead of closing ourselves off to the amazing gift of parenting, that we opened our arms wider, because we trust God to do what is best for them and for us. No matter what that may look like, or what we have to go through. Children are a blessing. No matter how long they stay with us on earth, they can be blessings of huge proportions. That is how I long to see Michael. It’s how I long others to see Michael. That not only his life, but his death, was/is a blessing.

Psalm 127:3

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward”

*notice it doesn’t say living children only, but all children of the womb, are gifts, rewards. 

Join me next week for the conclusion!

Loving Your Children After Loss: Part One

This is part one of a series, on why or how I am where I am, in regards to loving and seeing my children joyfully, and my desire to not have bitterness about losing Michael, and therefore having that effect my relationship with Jeremiah or Molly. I hope you learn something from this, and if you don't, at least pray for me, always, that I'm the mother God has bless me to be! Thank you!

The moment was rift with anticipation, nerves and excitement. The technician moved the wand over my belly, making her measurements, while my husband and I held our breath. We had prayed, hoped, thought it would be best, if we had a girl. A boy might be too tough, bring back to many emotions and memories.

As she continued to move the wand around, we saw the form of our child, loving him/her more and more. Finally, at last!

“It’s a boy!”

God gave us another boy. Our sweet Jeremiah. In that moment I looked at my husbands face, I have never seen the look of such joy, excitement and elation on it before, or since. My own face must have reflected something similar, because he grabbed my hand and said, “We have another boy! Jeremiah!”

In my own heart, I was at peace completely. No fear. No disappointment, just a deep abiding knowledge that God is good, and this was PERFECT. 

1 Samuel 1:26-28

New King James Version (NKJV)

²⁶ And she said, “O my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to the Lord. ²⁷ For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. ²⁸ Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.” So they worshiped the Lord there.

So began the prayers to be the mother God created me to be. I prayed frequently that I would love Jeremiah as himself, and see him for who he was, and not compare him to Michael. I prayed deeply to give my children the blessing of what being Michael’s mom was, not the curses. I don’t want to burden my children with unnecessary grief, which is not theirs to bear.

Psalms 55:22

²² Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

*****

Just a few short months after Michael passed away, I got up to speak about our loss, and our journey through grief, and God’s hand in it all. Afterwards, a woman came up to me. The look on her face spoke volumes to me. She was carrying a burden. Just a few sentences she told me, and they stick with me. “Don’t withhold your love or life from any children you have down the road. I have lived under the shadow of my sister, who passed away as a baby. My parents were cold and distant from me.” 

Oh how my heart hurt for her. And a seed was planted in my heart. Now, my grief journey wasn’t just to grieve Michaels loss, but to prepare my heart for love, life and being a mom again.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget her face, or her words.

Titus 2:4

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…”

1 Corinthians 16:14

“Let all that you do be done with love”

****

Join me next week for part two!

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40 Days Without Facebook: update

About 2 1/2 weeks into this and I'm getting stuff done around the house, and with J. And now that my lovely husband is home, I'm able to spend more time with him as well. We're getting things done around the house, and yard that needed to be done. 

The side-effects of going without social media, is that sometimes you feel as if you're missing out on what's going on in your friends lives. So my solution to this? Make plans, lists, etc to CALL them up. (Since a lot of mine are out of town/state). Simple right?! Who'd a thunk?? But I have to admit that I'm not that great at remembering to call my friends, they usually have to call me, and how it that a friendship? Sigh. Bad Peggy! 

Another side-effect is that one might feel a little disconnected from the world at large. Especially if you have friends all over the place, and world.  Then you think about this...isn't it a good thing to be able to disconnect? Because lets face it, you live in one place, with a set of people, who'd love to see more of you. Usually. So okay...put down the screens of all sizes and connect face to face, right? Again, simple, yet not!

More side-effects of sans social media. Suddenly you have TIME. You can finish those little projects, call that friend for tea, enjoy the discoveries of a child. Enjoy the current stage of pregnancy. Remember why you married your spouse. All of that and more.

I've given a love of thought to my use of social media. And what I'll end up doing with it. Where it'll go...including this blog. I don't feel it's time to express those thoughts, but pray for me, will you? Thank you :) 

Now go, enjoy LIFE outside the screens of distraction!

Being a Good Steward

God calls those who believe to be good stewards of all they have. Time, money, possessions, etc. He doesn't like debt, in any form. 
Proverbs 22:7 states, "...and the borrower is servant to the lender."

And from all I know about following God, is that you cannot serve two masters, and it is better to be a servant to Him, than to anything else. 

So with that said...I must confess that I've been a poor steward. I have not been diligently working with what is at hand for me to do. 

There is much for me to do, and be doing. Yet I sit and waste the precious time God has allotted me, forgetting whom I serve above all. Him. 

No more. I ask for prayers. Lots of them. Pray that I preserver through this time of breaking habits and learning new ones. Pray that He shows me how to make it workable for myself to be the good steward and servant He wants me to be. I greatly appreciate those prayers!

Proverbs 8:17, "I love those who love me,

And those who seek me diligently will find me."

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